My Friend, As Good As Gold

You wouldn’t know it being in my flat, but I wouldn’t live anywhere else in this country but Falmouth. You might’ve noticed on the way here how, I don’t know, rustic everything seems? There’re trees and moss everywhere, the whole place was built real long ago, like older than America long ago. It’s a land that couldn’t be bothered with the past couple of centuries. Don’t worry, you may think you’re out of place but as soon as I get you home you’ll forget all about it. You and me, we’ll be having too much fun to worry about anything.

I’ve got such a great set-up at my flat and I just know you’ll love it. I’ve got a 72-inch flat-panel HDTV, and no worries about resolution, this thing’s 1080 dpi, it’s true HD. I know they have stuff as high as 1600, but I don’t have THAT much space. Still, that’s only the tip of the iceberg, just wait until you see everything.

I think you’re going to love the multimedia center the most. 7.1 speaker system, 800W sound, 150W subwoofer, all with gold-plated connections; it’s what ears were made for, darling. Everybody’s going to love you, I just know it. I’m going to have Dan and Paddy over in a few days when you’re all settled. We’ll watch a few movies, maybe play some Xbox. I hope you don’t mind if we talk a bit of work at some point, it’s just that we have to figure out what to do with the Peoplesoft upgrade. Not much for you to do then, but I can get you something later to keep you occupied and then I swear once we get through that, we’ll be paying attention to you the whole night.

Aw, you’re going to make me so happy, I just know it. And I hate to go back to it, y’see, but most everyone has these whiny little ASDA speakers if they even have anything. You get these weightlifting cocks or some washed-out rugby player who’ll think they’re the big noise around here. I’m so glad you didn’t fall in with them. They can be nice at first but they never stay nice. They just don’t have any respect, not for people, not for things, not even themselves. It’s a bad place to be, I’m just so glad I got to you before any of them. You’ll see: I have the best TV, the best DVR box, and the best sound system around. I try my best to keep my computer up-to-date, too, but you know how those things are; you get the most recent upgrades and the next month you’re using a relic. You’ll see for yourself. I got nothing but respect for what makes me happy.

Everyone’s the king of something, you know? You, you’re the king of input switchers. Mr. Haggerty, he’s the king of the IT division, you hear him tell it. Well I’ll tell you something. I may not have the best car or the best salary, but when it comes to having the best AV set-up, all of Cornwall bends its knee to me. The lucky ones know it, and the rest just carry on never knowing what’s out there. Now what do you want to do first, hmm? Matrix or Pirates of the Caribbean?